Dear Diary 💕

November is over. As I sat and thought deeply about how this year has been for me, I realized that life has bullied me so much that I cried, wept, and slept. Then I rose and repeated this cycle.

I fell so hard that my knees could not help me stand again. I had a few friends who gave me their shoulders so I could stand. I fell so hard that the floor became so comfortable that I didn't want to stand again.

Then I asked myself over and over again what I wanted. Each day came with its own trauma. Last week, I was just smiling and telling myself, "Oh, gracious, this month is a bit fair," and I was hit again. I fell into a deep sadness that took my sleep away.

"You have not written in a while," I know, but my mind is clouded. I see all the lines fallen in pleasant places for people I know and strangers who share theirs, and I keep wondering if I'm out of lines or if there's no pleasant place for me.

My eyes are tired from crying, my mind is tired from thinking, and I'm tired of running from the things I love.

Micah 7 vs 7 came to me: "But as for me, I will look expectantly for the Lord, and with confidence in Him, I will keep watch; I will wait with confident expectation for the God of my salvation. My God will hear me." (Amp).

Then came strength again, and I speak silently to the Lord, "I have one month in this year. Please make it better than the 11."