I often thought that the harder Life is for you, the more fortunate you may be in the future.
"Tough times don't last..." but, this one has built a mansion beside me.
I looked at the universe in the eyes with so much furnace and wondered what I had done to make my life this tough.

The sun was scorching, and the center of my newly made koloba hairstyle became so painful, and felt like I was carrying the cause of the nation on it.
I had just finished hawking the tomatoes my mama asked me to sell. I walked past a beautiful little girl about the same age as I was, I was only 8 then. And her white top was so clean, that I imagined how someone's clothes could be brighter than my future.

Her long, neatly packed hair, the neat socks in the brown shoes, and the way I stared at her felt like I was going to exchange my life with hers.

What does it mean to be happy?
I only experienced happiness en my father made sales and we had chicken in our meals, once in a while. Chewing the legs and the wings of the chicken often made me feel happy like the rich were. I remembered when Adaze, a girl in our children's church, was eating her food and it had chicken. The day Papa brought the chicken, I felt like Adaze.

I almost lost my teeth as I watched her walk majestically, and I did not see the stone in front of me.

I was getting closer to my home, and ensuring my sales money was intact.
I rushed into my mama's room to give her the money. As I forced the door open, I heard a loud cry from a baby, I moved closer and saw this tiny beautiful baby wrapped in the bed, crying so loudly. Two women from the neighborhood rushed in and grabbed the baby, swinging and patting him gently.

I called out loudly to my mother while walking into our small kitchen to grab my food. I heard, loudly, one of the women say "Chai".
I grabbed my boiled yam, with my palm by the side. As I ate, one of the women walked up to me and said, "Your mother is gone!". I raised my head and answered "Okay!". I had no clue what that meant. The other woman started wailing, and that got me perplexed for a moment. Then, she said to me, "Mama is dead!". She died while giving birth to my brother by herself, in the house. My father on hearing the news, fell and never stood up.

The sun did not stand still, because my world was crumbling, and the birds never stopped singing too.
I can't remember ever crying at the news of all this. I saw the strange look on my neighbors' faces because I was not crying.
Tears? Where will the water come from?
My life is a desert, so no water anywhere.
What is happiness again? Because the more I craved for it, the bitter it became.

The night fell and Aunty Bimbo, the Nurse in our neighborhood, asked me to get my clothes and come with her while holding the baby.
As we walked some miles, I was holding my bag of clothes and wondering what more sadness life holds for me.
I could remember her saying, "I'm going to be your mother from now", that was when I realized Mama was not coming back again.

She opened a room and asked me to go in. Aunty Bimbo had two children, just a little older than myself. As I lay down on the bed, it felt like my mama realized the life I wanted and gave herself up. I never hawked on the street again because Aunty Bimbo was so nice to me. You would assume she was an angel.

My life changed, and I watched my brother grow bigger. As I turned 15, I realized my life did not change but took a short break.

I was having my lunch when Aunty Bimbo's husband came closer, patting my back and stroking my hair. Then, he called my name and said "Would you like to marry me?".

As shocking as it sounded, I thought about my Aunty Bimbo and all the love she had poured on me, making my life graceful. Then I said to myself, "What if this is the opportunity to get the life I had always wanted?" and thought further, "What if this is the stone I will strike to light up my life?"

So I moved his hand from my hair to my chest and asked, "What will you give me if I agree to marry you?".
He told me he had money in his box inside their room, I held his hand some more tightly to my chest and said "Only?". With excitement in his voice, he replied "Any other thing you want?". This was the turnaround I was waiting for, so I quickly replied to him "Okay, I will." he kissed me softly on the head, I knew either my life or his, was about to be destroyed.

While the other kids and Aunty were out, I was pretending to do the laundering.
I would enter their room and search for the box which I thought was imaginary, or something to lure me with.
Eventually, I saw the box, opened it, and saw the money. I took all of it and left a short note for my aunty:

"Dear Aunty Bimbo,
Thank you and Goodbye."

I placed the note inside her Bible, fled into the night, and never returned. I often wondered how betrayed Aunty Bimbo must have felt. The good, the bad, and the ugly happened to my life. As it became more tougher and sometimes better.

I walked into a restaurant one afternoon and this handsome man came around, my heart skipped, because he had the face of my father. One would think it was the younger version of Papa, but only that hardship mended Papa's face.
As he moved closer, my heart raced. He stopped by my seat, "Hello!", he said.
I had a thousand and one thoughts running through my mind but I mustered the courage to reply, "Hey!". We got closer and eventually became friends.

He told me all about himself and it was different from where I was from. I often asked him if he knew his parent, and if they were alive, and he would reply "Yes,
And ask me if I would like to meet them"

It felt like a dream haunting me as we sat together talking. He called my name and said I miss my sister, tears rolled down my eyes.
My mind was playing tricks on me
I had lost my brother before I ran away,
He went to play with his friend and drowned in the river.
This can't be him, again.